The "C" Word

Right now that word just raises the hackles on the back of my neck.  It makes me go all cold  inside and makes me feel very anxious.  Oh you all know the word I'm talking about, that's right...Christmas!  As in Christmas Shopping and too much spending, too much food and too much stress.  Just about every odd numbered  year is a Bah Humbug year for me and it usually coincides with the year that I didn't or couldn't save enough money for it.
I have to admit that had we not gone on vacation for a few days with our best friends D and D, with whom we know NO moderation, we may have had a little more money for the C word.  We went to the ocean and stayed at the Casino, a wise move for 3 people who don't know when to say when.  I emphasize THREE people because Markie is the only smart one among us, he knows when to say when, that would be right after he loses the first $40.  The rest of us have to add a zero to that maybe each day!  You never know when you're gonna hit the BIG ONE.  We re-define the BIG ONE so many times that we always walk out broke.  By then though we're usually so drunk we don't really care, besides as long as you are still getting money out of the ATM you're a winner...right?
In order to avoid looking like we have a gambling problem we decided to spend at least a day on the beach, since the beach is in the frigid Northwest that means we bundle up like that kid on Christmas Story and climb into the pick up truck with a case of beer and drive up and down the beach until all the beer is gone. We figure it's better to look like you have a drinking problem than a gambling problem.
During our "beach tour" D and I were evaluating our options for the family Christmas.  We know we have limited funds so because we are creative GENIUSES we came up with some great ideas and we just hope the grandkids understand the concept that it's the thought that matters, that's gonna be very important this year.  Not only do we drive better when we're drunk, we are more creative too.  We decided to gather oatmeal boxes, the nice round Quaker Oat ones...Ben would love a DRUM!  Oh yeah...old school drum...who needs Rock Band?  Oh and the girls would love it if we covered the boxes with all kinds of glittery crap, fancied up the lid and call it a jewelry box!  Voila, grandkids-DONE! The best idea was the one we had for the adult kids, take the lid off the box..turn it upside down, decorate it to match the decor and YES...it's a toilet paper cover. According to our scientific calculations, you could probably fit 3 rolls in it.  It will look lovely on the back of the toilet.  I know the family is gonna be so pleased with the gifts they get this year while we were out spending their inheritance.